::............... inhabit corners.::

proxemics is the study of how people interact with and relate to the inanamate objects in the spaces they inhabit. relationship proxemics is anthrobabble applied to my life.
:: talk to me:my corner: book reviews(fixed, so click here!):my list collection::
[::..just me..::]
[::penguin from suse::]
[::..there are some seriously weird things online, other than me darn it, check out some of the more intersting ones..::]
:: freebozz electric - yeah zork!::
::info and petition about the armenian genocide. my brother pointed this out ::
:: the spark, take quizes, waste time, and read about some really weird experiments. very cool excpet for the gender quiz which called me a guy::
::stick figure death theatre recomended by movie steve::
:: this guy is selling imortality for free. creepy fun ::
:: gag gifts such as toxic waste candy are found here::
:: the fun stuff that never quite hits the headlines is here::
:: dress up jesus - from my charmingly odd friend jeff, who wanted me to mention he doesn't hate christians, he just has a since of humor as twisted as mine...::
::be nice to penguins, darnit::
:: urban legends, the scholarly take. recommended by my guy ::
[::..nowhere did i claim that i was normal..::]
[::...neither are most of the people i know, but normal's boring, anyway..::]
:: my guy. his friends call him a charming booger, i think you'll see why. (and yes the redhead is me)::
:: nikki,who puts her writings and rantings here,actually trusted me to come up with a cool tagline for this link. ::
:: emily, a friend from school who writes very nifty angsty poems.::
:: dru, who is still ignoring the fact that those of us without lj's can't be on his friends list, has a demented pic of himself here.::
:: greg, my old assistant manager's short lived flirtation with blogger. i've broken this link at his request.::
:: kari, my step sister, who hasn't updated this in a while now.::
:: dara, my old roomate and one of the people i'm happiest i knowwho has finally given my the link bug her to add her new poems, "none of your business" rocks!::
:: joanna, who has abandoned geocities for an LJ. bah. i still like my blog ::
:: my mom. who will have a better page for her product as soon as we figure out the details and i make it for her::
:: jason, my ex coworker who has since ran away to arizona, has his art work up here::
:: my dad, this is from his business page, but there's a decent picture of him.::
:: james, full of shit but writes pretty good music, has his band's web page here.::
:: my friend steve discets movies, and actually links back to me yeah!, here.::
:: jill, aka penelope, the sister that embarasses my old district manager. most recently seen talking about her implants in the November issue of Jane.::
[::..speak up! there's a forum for everyone, here's a few of the more interesting one's i've found..::]
:: Scarleteen Forums, enlightened, alt. lifesyle friendly sex ed.::
:: hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. almost everything under and including the sun is discussed here. douglas adams won't soon be forgotten.::
:: pro scurvy. i don't know if they're serious. it's strangely facinating, tho, somehow...::
:: The Thin (and reinvented at a new address) Page, an interesting subculture lives here. please don't flame them and eat bandwith, ok? they've heard it all already..::
:: Marigold, add 1 part sleepover and 2 parts political rally to blender with dash canadian accent. mix. enjoy...::
:: lord of the rings gaming forum. geeky? yes. fun? infinately so....::
:: Blogger Forum, fix your code...::
::.starting now.........::

:: Monday ::

so i'm not a poet, haven't written a poem since my late teens, but i do have some (read about 3) poems that i'm still happy with. there are a few others that don't make me cringe, and the rest i'll keep for nostalgia but bury very deeply. one of the few i still like is a sort of megamantra of mine against the shallow urge to fit into the rigid standards of beauty in our society, a sort of reminder to myself that i'm fine as is. for some reason it's been stuck in my head for a few days now, so i figured i'd share.
i'm not

i'm not twig thin,
no longer blond,
i've blue eyes -
behind glasses.

my breasts aren't small
(stomache's not flat)
i'm tall -
not statuesque.

i'm not what i'm
supposed to be.

most days i remember,
that's fine.

i'm me.

so there's my happy thought for the day. *grin* g'nite.
:: 1/26/2004 11:21:00 PM [+] ::
:: Saturday ::
waldenbooks 1014 is closed. i closed it today for the last time. the keyholder didn't show up so i got a nostalgic chance to lock up. it's sad and scary at the same time. my saftey net job is gone. goodnight.
:: 1/24/2004 10:52:00 PM [+] ::
:: Friday ::
went on a book binge today in anticipation of the loss of my discount at waldenbooks. spent more than i maybe should of, except knowing me i'd buy all the books anway so buying them while i still have a discount was probably a good idea. saw marvin on the bus today going into white plains. haven't seen him in positively forever, so it was cool, even if he is way more financially successful than i am at the moment which is kind of depressing. oh well. phil and i will get lunch with him on sunday and let him buy *grin*. tomorrow is offically the last day that store 1014 is open, so phil and i are both working. might as well get the hrs while they're avalable, ya know? it is depressing, tho......this week has pretty much been baby sit the money and ring up the customers week. no real work left. it's been giving us all screw loose moments, danny set off the fire extinguisher in the back office (then did his oompa-loompa best to clean it up). tavia told people we were closeing b/c they caught on to the fact we were running a sweat shop in the back room. cyn sat on the counter playing her gameboy. phil and miriam velcrowed a chair to the wall. i stamped the back of dru's neck with the waldenbooks store 1014 stamp. stuff like that. we'll see how nuts tomorrow gets.

so since bloomingdales is in crisis mode b/c they are 1000 short of the years goal for new charge cards and the year ends in 10 days.....several people have been offered their vacation pay (higher than hourly b/c it includes "lost" comission) to spend next week just walking around with clip boards and signing people up for bloomingdales cards. i'm one of them. sweet. esp when you consider the fact that we get extra money for each card we open. i love being a sales freak.

:: 1/23/2004 08:50:00 PM [+] ::
:: Monday ::
INTP - "Architect". Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. The world exists primarily to be understood. 3.3% of total population.
Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

heh. not a bad online personality test, actually got the same responce as when i took the larger version of this test with an actual test administer etc. so unlike the spark tests (which i'm still angry at for calling me a guy) this one is actualy worth playing with.

so i'm still screwed up over the bookstore closing, but i may be able to wrangle a position at rye ridge. which would rock.

and i got a $3000 coat for $200. i a)needed another coat and b)have always wanted a leather trench and c)am probably never going to find another one for less money than that. and it's comission week and i worked my ass off this christmas so i deserved it. and it cheered me up. horay for retail thearapy!

:: 1/19/2004 11:07:00 PM [+] ::
i was going through some old papers i found the other day (ie how i waste the time i should be spending cleaning up the apartment) when i came across something i wrote in 9th grade. although i'm not sure i still love the language of it, i am sure that i still agree with the point that i was trying to make. since much of what i believed at that point in my life seems silly/irrelavent to me now, it's neat to find something that still fits. so here it is. and yes, before you say it, i know it's a bit flowery.

long ago - before your great to the nth power grandmother was even a gleam in her father's eye - but not so far away at all, there was a traveler. this traveler walked all roads once, twice, thrice, and again. veered off roads onto beaten and not so beaten paths, from dirt roads to game trails to vague paths through farmers's fields. boated accross oceans, seas, lakes; up rivers, down rapids, to the very edge of waterfalls and occationally over them. followed creeks till they dried up into ditches and walked along them until they were nothing but dents in the grass. crossed deserts, plains, savanahs. climbed mountains both great and small. traveled, no, is traveling still. who is this traveler? what drives this endless seeking? you ask....this traveler is man, is seeking - will always seek - the TRUTH. because although it is mans' lot to seek TRUTH, it belongs to a greater power yet to find it, to pin it down.

so yeah. not sure i still like the prose of it, but i still agree with the point. i love the idea that we're here to look for TRUTH, but i disbleive anyone who claims to hold it in their hand.

(maybe this is why i have a problem with the concept of organized religion, as much as i'd probably be more content if i could just frocking pick one to believe.)

:: 1/12/2004 10:44:00 PM [+] ::
:: Sunday ::
so i finally just now figured out how to get the comments thing into my template correctly so it would work. although i'm not to happy with the whole "shout out" bit and am not sure how to get it to say something that i like better, but hey it's a start.
:: 1/11/2004 08:06:00 PM [+] ::
so if someone prays to a god you don't really believe in, or that you believe in but not exclusively, in your favor...a)how do thank them for their concern b)if said god exists, does he/it answer said prayers on the stregnth of the other person's beliefs or ignore them on the non stregnth of your non beliefs? does it help if your personal moral code is based mostly on the ethics of said god's religion (except for the fact that you live with your boyfriend and refuse to call it sin b/c a) you love him and b) sleeping with ONE guy does not count as promiscuity, wether you do it before getting hitched or after doesn't matter) even though it's not your religion? argh. it's sposed to be a good thing when someone tells you that you'll be in you'll be in their prayers. unless you're me, aparently, in which case you'll be confused. happily confused, but confused none the less.

i'm still pissed they're closing waldens. i miss it already. fuck.

which means i need a new bookstore job. i've got 6 years experience in the industry, sell membership cards like nobody's business (to 14% of my customers, company standard being 5.5%), don't scream at people who ask for that blue book from oprah (do you mean she's come undone or that one by anita shreeve?) am more that familiar with the books in print search program, ditto recieving and return functions, and have a clientell that will actually follow me and bring you at least an additional 3000 a year, and will commute anywhere in the greater new york/westchester area. my schedule is (unfortuantely) erratic b/c of the oft mentioned day job but i'd say i make up for it. hire me? please. soon. thanks!

:: 1/11/2004 12:01:00 AM [+] ::
:: Friday ::
so usually i manage to post my new years stuff closer to new years, but this year i was in wilson, then i was sick (like to the point where i stayed home from work which i never never never do sick). so i've been late. anway.......this new years was pretty good. missed phil b/c of the aforementioned being in the frozen north, but otherwise had fun. had a small party, dan, ffej, ffej's new girlfriend (who is v cool but looks scarily like she ought to be his long lost sister. like his female doppleganger or something. but it does make them cute together.) jay, nicole. adam was sposed to come but had to work. harry showed up after he got off work, aparently, but i was alspee. fell asleep at my own damn party. but my friends cleaned up for me before they left because my friends rock that way.

so as for the whole new years resolution thing, i'm not writing a damn list this year. just have one big one to cover everything. i will change what i can and accept what i can't. i'll still complain anyway, because, let's face it, i'd have nothing to write about if i didn't complain.....but i'll complain while doing somehting about it. this is a good one because there's lots of stuff i need to either accept or change. like losing weight. finding a new job. finding a way to send more money a month to the loan nazis to get out of debt. all that good stuff. we'll see how it works out.

and here's the bad news folks. they're shutting my waldenbooks. argh. no more discount. no more book loan. no more cool coworkers, b/c lets face it, the people i work with at bloomies are tools. no more pr card speil needed. and i finally had it perfect. argh. no more store 1014. after 6+ years i'll really fucking miss the place. i'll get another bookstore job, i guess, for the discount, but it won't truely be the same. that place felt like home to me, ya know? ouch.

anyway i refuse to depress myself this close to bed time, so i'm going to sleep instead. good night.

:: 1/09/2004 11:51:00 PM [+] ::

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