::............... inhabit corners.::

proxemics is the study of how people interact with and relate to the inanamate objects in the spaces they inhabit. relationship proxemics is anthrobabble applied to my life.
:: talk to me:my corner: book reviews(fixed, so click here!):my list collection::
[::..just me..::]
[::penguin from suse::]
[::..there are some seriously weird things online, other than me darn it, check out some of the more intersting ones..::]
:: freebozz electric - yeah zork!::
::info and petition about the armenian genocide. my brother pointed this out ::
:: the spark, take quizes, waste time, and read about some really weird experiments. very cool excpet for the gender quiz which called me a guy::
::stick figure death theatre recomended by movie steve::
:: this guy is selling imortality for free. creepy fun ::
:: gag gifts such as toxic waste candy are found here::
:: the fun stuff that never quite hits the headlines is here::
:: dress up jesus - from my charmingly odd friend jeff, who wanted me to mention he doesn't hate christians, he just has a since of humor as twisted as mine...::
::be nice to penguins, darnit::
:: urban legends, the scholarly take. recommended by my guy ::
[::..nowhere did i claim that i was normal..::]
[::...neither are most of the people i know, but normal's boring, anyway..::]
:: my guy. his friends call him a charming booger, i think you'll see why. (and yes the redhead is me)::
:: nikki,who puts her writings and rantings here,actually trusted me to come up with a cool tagline for this link. ::
:: emily, a friend from school who writes very nifty angsty poems.::
:: dru, who is still ignoring the fact that those of us without lj's can't be on his friends list, has a demented pic of himself here.::
:: greg, my old assistant manager's short lived flirtation with blogger. i've broken this link at his request.::
:: kari, my step sister, who hasn't updated this in a while now.::
:: dara, my old roomate and one of the people i'm happiest i knowwho has finally given my the link bug her to add her new poems, "none of your business" rocks!::
:: joanna, who has abandoned geocities for an LJ. bah. i still like my blog ::
:: my mom. who will have a better page for her product as soon as we figure out the details and i make it for her::
:: jason, my ex coworker who has since ran away to arizona, has his art work up here::
:: my dad, this is from his business page, but there's a decent picture of him.::
:: james, full of shit but writes pretty good music, has his band's web page here.::
:: my friend steve discets movies, and actually links back to me yeah!, here.::
:: jill, aka penelope, the sister that embarasses my old district manager. most recently seen talking about her implants in the November issue of Jane.::
[::..speak up! there's a forum for everyone, here's a few of the more interesting one's i've found..::]
:: Scarleteen Forums, enlightened, alt. lifesyle friendly sex ed.::
:: hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. almost everything under and including the sun is discussed here. douglas adams won't soon be forgotten.::
:: pro scurvy. i don't know if they're serious. it's strangely facinating, tho, somehow...::
:: The Thin (and reinvented at a new address) Page, an interesting subculture lives here. please don't flame them and eat bandwith, ok? they've heard it all already..::
:: Marigold, add 1 part sleepover and 2 parts political rally to blender with dash canadian accent. mix. enjoy...::
:: lord of the rings gaming forum. geeky? yes. fun? infinately so....::
:: Blogger Forum, fix your code...::
::.starting now.........::

:: Tuesday ::

i'm in wilson. here for 2 days. it's almost a waste of a flight but not really, i really wanted to come....visit(?)...home(?)...let's just stick with "here". i really wanted to come here. it's cold here but that's ok. i don't think i'll manage to go sledding this time (unless harry, ffej, and i really get silly later but i doubt it somehow. i think i'm the only one who would think midnight sledding was a good idea.) but that's ok. i finally saw a clockwork orange, spent some actual time with my brother, hung out wiht ffej, spoke to beth when it wasn't long distance, and had dinner with my mom one night, and my step grandmother the other. in short, i've shoved about as much as i can into 2 days without forgeting to sleep. over all a good trip. next time i run out here i'll bring my guy, i miss him, but then again it's worth missing him to find a loveletter in my luggage, and to find him at the airport in the morning.
:: 1/07/2003 06:52:00 PM [+] ::
:: Wednesday ::
please work. please. pretty pretty please.
:: 1/01/2003 02:28:00 PM [+] ::
for next years resolutions, read my lists.....
:: 1/01/2003 02:27:00 PM [+] ::
guess what time it is everybody...that's right....it's new years resolutions time. it's also time to look at last years, just to see where i'm at. hmmm....oh yeah, they're on my lists page......let's bring them over and see how i did:
*either finally loose that 20 pounds or finally learn to accept them as part of myself, not some seperate thing to be loathed when looking in the mirror
and one thats roughly the same

*intergrate my sence of my body with my sence of myself - it's so fucked up that i can hate my skin and love myself, i need to fix that...i guess that's part of the first one, isn't it?
made some headway on these but i think i need to keep working on them. the sad part is that this makes me surprisingly normal. sad why? because i hate being normal, and it screws with my head when i think about how normal the society i live in consideres being obsessed with one's body for purely aestitic reasons. bah.

*start painting more again
and again with one's that go together...what is it with me and matched pairs?

*start writing again
i've not been very sucessful with these ones. i've painted better things, and written more thoughtful and coherent things, but my overall output is way down. it bothers me that i don't just paint/write for me any more, that i'm constantly thinking of what an audience would think about it. i mean, i don't have an overiding interest in trying to get my own writing published (well, maybe a short story or 2 just because, but not a book, or a collection, or a name for myself as a writer) and i have no illusions about my painting - i paint pretty things that friends and family members like but i'm not an artist and i know this. so why don't i just paint/write for the sake of expression? because i'm a silly girl sometimes.

*read more non fiction

finally one i've accomplished.

*relarn math so i can pass the gre's

um....have been relearning math. have not thought about the gre recently.

*take the damn test and go to grad school already
other ideas have come up, other plans have interceeded, and i'm beginning to realize that maybe part of the reason i never went in that direction is because it wasn't the right one.

*realize that if i didn't make him happy he wouldn't stick around and stop angsting over it
have been much less of an insecure girl overall last year, including this. i think i'm finally working through my need to push people away so that i can prove that i'm unworthy of them.

*stop being my own worst critic and give myself the compasion i give others
i'm still harsh with myself, but less so than i used to be. i don't think i'll ever completely get over this one. i have this twisted idea that if i've called myself and idiot/incopletent/lazy/klutz/etc first it will hurt less when someone else does. but i'm counting it a step in the right direction that i can admit that that's a twisted idea.

*laugh at myself more
this one was easy. i've woken up to the fact that being effected by cartoon physics is good for a laugh at least, and that i've i'm going to be black and blue 90% of the time i can at least be amused by it.

:: 1/01/2003 02:26:00 PM [+] ::

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