::............... inhabit corners.::proxemics is the study of how people interact with and relate to the inanamate objects in the spaces they inhabit. relationship proxemics is anthrobabble applied to my life.
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:: Wednesday ::
i'm pretty sure i broke my toe at work today. it's swelling a bit and if i press on my foot near my toe it hurts.and the nurce who works part time on my staff looked at it and says it looks like a hairline fracture. since it's not my big toe all they would do for me is tell me not to put weight on it and ice it and splint it to the next toe over. so traci (the afore mentioned nurce) splinted it to my next toe and i tied an icepack to my foot and went limping back to my duties. did i mention i broke my toe at work? i didn't drop a book on my toe, either. i kicked something that someone should not have left on the floor. clear things should not be left where they can be kicked, darnit, especially when there are clumsy people present who wear sandles. ouch. bah. i have to put more ice on it now. or maybe a bag of frozen peas or something. g'nite:: Thursday ::
note to self: you cannot drink as much as a guy. being female gives you an inherently lower tollerance. you need to not try to keep up. being sociable does not demand it, and actually it becomes unsociable especially when said keeping up causes you to decide that a couch cushion is the proper weapon to use when joining an up to that point civil pillow fight. ouch. oh well, i'm glad my guy has tollerant friends, b/c i'm occationally a real brat.:: Tuesday ::
i need to learn two things: how to be constructively angry, and how to be more organized. actually i need to learn a lot of things, but these two i need to learn first i think. i get angry. i complain to people who i'm not angry at, and by the time i get to talk to the person who pissed me off i'm over it and nothing major gets said and nothing changes. i bitch about work to my guy. i bitch about my guy to my friends. i bitch about my friends at work. i don't talk to the people who are angering me directly. it's silly. it needs to change. and the organizational thing - i lost something important in my desk. argh. anyway,....jason from school who i haven't spoken too in wayyyyyyy tooooo looooooonnnnngggg called me back today. it;s silly how estatic i am to hear from a friend lol.:: Friday ::
so i'm tired and strung out on too much caffeine followed by none followed by way too much. so what. i'm too winey lately. thats not a good thing. i'm annoying everyone, including myself. so instead lets talk about the good stuff today shall we? i saw two movies today, men in black II and rein of fire. nothing profound, just junk food for the brain. i love seeing double matinees with my guy. it's a weird tradition we're starting - when we haven't seen much of each other for awhile but are both too tire/brain dead/overworked to do anything meaningful we spend a few hours being braindead together and it reconnects us a bit. it's such a geeky thing to do, which is probably why it works so well for us. now if only there were more fun movies so we could do it more often...but then we'd be deadbroke so i guess things are good as they are.:: Thursday ::
i'm unsure of myself in a way i've never been unsure before. whatever i've come up against before, i've always know that if i did my absolute best, if i was perfect, i could do what needed doing. needless to say i haven't always been perfect, haven't always done my best, so i haven't always done what needed doing. but at least the option to do things right was there. i've never felt this in over my head before tho. i'm doing all that i can do. running myself almost ragged (i'm no good to anyone, not even myself, when ragged so almost ragged is always the best idea) and things still aren't right. i can't do it. i can almost get it done. but not quite. it's driving me nuts that i've come up against something that i can't quite do on my own. it's that group project where i have to rely on the group and i'm not sure if they're capable of holding up their end...not that i haven't been there before...but before i was capapble enough to balance them out. now i'm not. i have to trust someone else to do well enough to make me look good. and that's scary. i'm not sure which part of it scares me most really - having to trust people, or finding something i can't do on my own. maybe if i'm perfect anyway i'll get through...:: Monday ::
no word from jason and juliette. i'm undecided on wether or not to try again.
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