::............... inhabit corners.::proxemics is the study of how people interact with and relate to the inanamate objects in the spaces they inhabit. relationship proxemics is anthrobabble applied to my life.
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:: Friday ::
my guy went to an 80's metal concert with one of his friends the other night (i'm not an 80's type or a metal head, i went the visit my old roomate) and was actually excited afterwards telling me about the make up of the crowd, how it's kind of a living organism. although i know he's always been an obeservant type, i have to take some credit for his enthusiasm for crowd watching. he even mentioned that he spent some time that would have been better spent watching the show watching the crowd. see, anthropology isn't jsut for acedemic dweebs like me. *grin*:: Tuesday ::
have you ever noticed how the waitress almost always puts the check on the guy's side of the table. especially if it's a nice restauraunt. even if the girl gets her purce out the moment the waitress appears with the check. that when paying with a credit card the waitress gives the check back to the guy. even when it's the girls credit card that's been used. i notice that a lot - i have a better job than my guy does so when i want to go out to a decent restauraunt i generlly offer to pay for us both. since i happen to be more of a foodie than he is it doesn't bother me to pay for luxury like that...but it does bother me that the waitstaff seems unable to see the possiblility that the woman might be paying. how about putting it in the middle of the table? it's already enough fun to convince my guy that he's no less of a man for letting me pay, i don't need the restauraunt helping to make him insecure all over again.:: Monday ::
my assistant manager has missed his calling. he has the preacher voice down to the tee. knows how to hold the bible to read from it and everything. unfortunately he choses to practice on me, the dyed in the wool skeptic, and my other assistant manager, the pagan. it seems to be his way of showing he cares, trying to save us or something. it doesn't bother me, it is just kind of weird on occation. i know i should have some kind of faith, that it's supposed to be hardwired into teh human brain to believe in some form of a god, but i jsut can't believe. i dunno why. i am endlessly facinated with belief in others, i just can't find it in myself:: Saturday ::
good day today. productive. thought my way out of a few boxes and had some fun in the process. some people don't know how to handle it when you give them a little freedom/trust. they must not like being trusted, because the first thing they do when they have someone's trust is try their damndest to loose it. that's ok i guess, better that then waiting until you really truly trust them to mess up. bah. i dont' like people much today, so i didn't have a very objective day watching then. g'night.:: Friday ::
black friday wasn't scary busy. something is seriously wrong with people this year. last year we had people banging on the gate before we opened at 7. this morning my only sale before 8 was to my assistant manager. bah. it's a funny little vicious cycle. lower income people become even poorer, so they don't go shopping as much. shops aren't as busy so they make less money. shop owners lay off help to make up for the lost income by shrinking overhead. another lower income person gets even poorer. it's so obnoxious and so obvious and so seemingly unexcapable. it's capitalism. a system i love, until i have to fire workers when there's a shitty job market because my profit to salary ratio is all wrong. i hate being the bearer of bad news.:: Thursday ::
being at the parade instead of watching it on tv was so surreal. on one hand, it's something i've wanted to do since i was about 6 years old, so it was rather nifty to finally get to go. on the other hand, i stood in a stupid spot, close enough to the end that they'd run through all the practice renditions of their shows but far enough away that i couldn't see the final ones, so it was a minor let down. after 16 years of wanting to go i was hoping to be overwhelmingly wowed. instead i was just quietly impressed. it was a nice day out with my guy, tho...he's not the type who goes to things like that unless someone drags him, so it a new experience for him, too. i had almost more fun watching the people in the croud. they clapped and laughed more for the police than for any of the actors or floats, which really touched me. there was some guy outside of a starbucks hussling "come in where it's warm, hot coffee, hot chocolate, get a muffin for your hungry kids" who really impressed me, if that was my store i'd be out doing that, letting the employess do the boring part serving the people. there were three youngish girls of middle-eastern decent out at the parade by themselves, with a cell phone they were probably suposed to use for emergencies that they instead used to call some boys house and hang up repeatedly until his father screamed into the phone at them, startling the one holding it so badly she dropped the phone. there was a parade marshal type guy in a yellow macy's jacket making faces and doing silly dances, and some kids up inside of a building along the street were copying him. there was some kid on the christmas carol float, the thrid angel up on the stairs, who ruined the lines of his costume by pulling the neck hole up to his nose and his sleaves down over his hands, at least he kept warm. and one of the cops standing near me had a witty comment for everything, people pressed over closer to him as the parade wore on so that they could hear him, he had a few real jems. all in all it was a good day, but if i had the choice to do it again or go to the thousand islands for thanksgiving like i always have i'd be hard pressed to make the choice either way. the worst part about making new traditions for oneself is that feeling of abandonment you get from leaving the old ones behind.:: Wednesday ::
i used to be able to function on no sleep, 2 hours, whatever i got. i must be getting old. now anything less than 3 hours and i'm a wreck, and 3 is pushing it. last night i got 2 and today i didn't get anything done, really, after the first few hours i was there. the way my life is set up right now i really don't have time to sleep enough, which is a corner i've painted myself into, i suppose. i mean, i could sleep the moment i get home from work and finish dinner. but then i'd never actually see my guy, or get any reading done, or update this site, or play zork.....so instead of sleeping like i should i give up my sleep in favor of living the rest of my life. i guess it's my own fault, really, but i can't see a way to sleep and still live the rest of my life.:: Tuesday ::
turkeys take a damn long time to cook, whoever decided to make them the food of choice for a national holiday was just looking for an excuse to hide in the kitchen for a day. or to get their women out of the way during the football games. take your pick. yes, i know it's not thanksgiving yet, i was just being so angst ridden about breaking tradition a little that i decided to break it a lot and cook today. but choosing food that takes that long to cook couldn't possibly be accidental, anyone who's cooked one once knows it is a true hassle. there's no way that anyone could pick that as a "mandatory" food without knowing what a pain in the ass it is to cook.
of course sometimes i hide in corners too, like now. i'm upset that i can't go home for thanksgiving this year, and ashamed of myself for being upset. and i'm just tomboyish enough to have some sence of machismo, so i end up hiding it by hiding myself. and yes, i know that is almost completely incoherent to anyone else but me, but this is my corner, damnit, it need not make sence to you.:: Monday ::
i think what i like most about corners is looking out from them. when you're in a corner you can't be watched yourself without noticing it, but you can watch anyone in the roon. i love sitting in the windowsill at the new york public library, the one with those lions, and watching everyonelse getting and reading their books over the top of mine. don't ask me to to admit how many papers i put off this way while i was in college, because i won't. for some reason the other people in a room are almost always more interesting than whatever i'm suposed to be doing. it only gets me in trouble when my ability to multi-task breaks down.:: Friday ::
metaphysical corners are fun, too. you know, the ones people paint themselves in to. sometimes its an inconvience, because they've gotten themselves into a situation where they can't back down without loosing something . sometimes it seems to be more of a way of creating a safe space within their own heads. if they make it imposible for themselves to change, then at least they have one sure thing in this unsure world. like the old white guy sitting on his front porch making vaguely rasist statements - he usually sounds more like he's trying to reasure himself that his view of the world still holds and less like he actually hates anyone. like the corner i've painted myself into at work just now. i missed having co-workers after i got promoted to store manager, so i made sure my assistant managers knew that i valued their imput etcetera...that i wasn't going to micormanage them and that i trusted them to do their jobs.....and now i've got friends at work again, which is great. i've also got the rest of the staff decending into anarchy because now they think that it's anything goes.:: Thursday ::
i have a tendency to use the things i learned studying how people interact with objects to see how they interact with each other. one of the people i have a tendency to observe is myself. i've noticed that the first thing i do when really moving into a space is to create a corner for myself. i had the whole back room to move my desk around in at work and i put it in the corner. my desk top drawer unit is on the corner of my desk. the drawers i don't use on the bottom of the desk are the ones that are closest to the rest of the room.
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